Gavin Newsom’s Memoir Gets Crushed by Jelly Roll’s Wife in Embarrassing Amazon Flop

Gavin Newsom’s heavily hyped memoir just got thrashed on Amazon’s bestseller list by BunnieXO—the podcast host wife of country singer Jelly Roll—in a humiliating defeat that should tell Democrats everything they need to know about their 2028 presidential aspirations.

The California governor’s self-promoting opus “Young Man in a Hurry” limped to a pathetic #45 on Amazon’s overall bestseller rankings as of Tuesday. That puts him squarely behind children’s books like “The Very Hungry Caterpillar” and “Where’s Spot? A Lift the Flap Book.”

Let that sink in. A board book for toddlers is outperforming Newsom’s presidential campaign disguised as a memoir.

The BunnieXO Beatdown

BunnieXO’s “Stripped Down: Unfiltered and Unapologetic,” released February 17, rocketed to the top of Amazon’s bestselling books list. Her authentic rags-to-riches journey from Las Vegas trailer parks to Nashville mansions clearly resonates more with Americans than Newsom’s gilded tale of San Francisco privilege and political ladder-climbing.

The “Dumb Blonde” podcast host—who built her platform through genuine connection with audiences—didn’t need a massive PR machine or political donor networks to move books. She simply told her story without the pretense and manufactured authenticity that defines everything Newsom touches.

Even in His Own Lane, Newsom Can’t Win

The numbers get even more embarrassing when you drill down into categories where Newsom should dominate.

In the memoir and biography section, his book managed a thoroughly mediocre #5 ranking. He’s trailing not just BunnieXO, but also socialite Belle Burden’s marriage memoir “Strangers,” Norah O’Donnell’s “We the Women,” and Virginia Guiffre’s posthumously released “Nobody’s Girl” about her experience as an Epstein victim.

Think about that. A governor who has spent months on a shameless publicity tour, leveraging every media connection and political favor imaginable, can’t even crack the top three in his own category.

The Only Race He Can Win Is the One Nobody’s Watching

Newsom did manage to claim the #1 spot in one category: political leader biographies. Congratulations, Governor—you’ve won the participation trophy.

This narrow victory in an ultra-specific niche reveals the fundamental problem with Newsom’s national ambitions. He’s a big fish in the small, stagnant pond of progressive politics, but the moment he ventures into waters where real Americans make choices based on merit rather than party loyalty, he drowns.

A PR Blitz That’s All Sizzle, No Steak

The California governor has been running a full-court press for this book, treating it like the campaign launch it obviously is. He’s barnstormed through Nashville, Atlanta, and Rock Hill, South Carolina—early primary states, naturally—hawking his memoir like a traveling salesman.

Most shamelessly, Newsom has been leveraging his political donor networks, offering free copies of the book in exchange for donations “of any amount” to his Campaign for Democracy political action committee.

Translation: He’s essentially buying his way onto whatever lists he can, using campaign contributions to artificially inflate interest in a book that Americans clearly don’t want to read.

What This Really Tells Us

These dismal sales figures aren’t just about one underperforming book. They’re a referendum on Newsom himself and everything he represents.

Americans are exhausted by political elites who view every aspect of their lives—including their personal memoirs—as stepping stones to higher office. They see through the calculated vulnerability and focus-grouped authenticity that permeates every page of “Young Man in a Hurry.”

Meanwhile, they’re gravitating toward genuine voices like BunnieXO, who doesn’t pretend to be something she’s not and doesn’t need political machinery to connect with audiences.

The Emperor Has No Clothes (or Readers)

Newsom’s book failure exposes what California conservatives have known for years: strip away the hair gel, the designer suits, and the media fawning, and there’s nothing particularly compelling about Gavin Newsom.

His story—privileged upbringing, Getty family connections, scandals, and smooth political ascent—doesn’t inspire. It repels. Americans looking at their own struggles with inflation, crime, and a government that seems increasingly disconnected from their lives have zero interest in the memoir of a man who represents everything wrong with the political class.

The fact that a children’s book about a hungry caterpillar has more appeal than Newsom’s carefully crafted political narrative should be a wake-up call for Democrats banking on him for 2028.

But knowing Newsom, he’ll spin this as a victory anyway. After all, he’s #1 in political leader biographies—never mind that nobody’s buying them.

The American people are sending a clear message. The question is whether Newsom is capable of hearing it over the sound of his own self-promotion.